Episode 125

Nothing Personal

In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruíz says we don’t have to take anything personally:

“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

When we drop a fork in the kitchen and it falls to the ground, it’s not doing that to spite us. It’s merely playing out its nature, in alignment with the forces acting on it.

Likewise, when someone does something to us, out of indifference or even out of malice, it has little to do with us. They are merely playing out their actions, their drama, or their understanding of the world.

Hosts & Guests

Kurt Robinson

Transcript

Welcome seekers and travelers.

Today I want to talk about this little phrase, nothing personal. Don’t take it personal, don’t take it personally. Some people wanna be pedantic about the grammar.

Fro the Toltec Agreements one of the agreements is take nothing personal because its not about you. The universe in a sense is built up of impersonal forces.

The other day I was doing something, maybe making something in the kitchen. Maybe I dropped a fork or something very easy to remedy.

But in those moments when the fork dropped I had this thought sneaking through my mind like “I can’t believe this fork is doing this to me, how could it do this to me? How could it have such spite in it’s heart to do something so cruel to ruin my day like this? How cruel, how dare that fork betray me? The one who has treated it so kindly.”

It doesn’t make any sense but that’s the thought that went into my head.

As children we might cry over spilled milk but as adults we let go of childish things and we realize the forks and spilled milk is no big deal. It’s not personal at all and the fork didn’t have anything against us

Now as I reflect on my life, sometimes I have this tendency too but not about forks.

I don’t stay awake at night wondering about forks but sometimes things get into my head and I think about relationships and friendships and how things went with people I tried to get on with.

I think, what did I do, what did I do wrong or why did they hate me so much or why are they so indifferent and the answer is its not personal. It’s not at all personal.

People do things and play up drama or their role in your life but in reality it has nothing to do with you, nothing to do with the essence of you, what is deeply inside you. Not your identity or the role you play but the aspect of you that is deep inside and pure and spacious and holy…those things don’t have anything to with you.

You might feel affected or bad about things that happen to you or don’t happen to you, because it is impersonal or universal to put it another way.

And recently strange energies in the air, I don’t know what it is…something cosmic or astronomical but I think many of you have felt it too.

Something highly unusual and as a result you might start to feel very strong emotions and these emotions will get you worrying about things from the past.

You feel that anxiety and you think again it’s something to do with you but it’s not.

And it’s not just the things that you’re thinking about that don’t have anything to do with you. It’s actually these emotions, feelings and thoughts themselves.

They don’t have anything to do with you either because you at your essence are something purer.

Something untouched and untouchable, the touched stone of reality, the pure essence of universal force.

And these things can’t touch that part of you and have in a sense have very little to do with that part of you.

It’s nothing personal, don’t take it personal.

Let’s continue in good spirits because we can and we don’t let these things get us down. Get bogged down and tied up in loops of poisonous thinking.

No, let’s not do that, let’s be joyful cause those things were not personal.

Thanks for listening, have a beautiful day.

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