Episode 78
Love Yourself More Every Day
Most of us have the experience of thinking about something we have done, and cringing, wondering how we could have embarrassed ourselves so much. Often when we think about these things from the past, it means there is a lesson yet to be learned.
Sometimes the lesson is simply that we’re still hiding away or denying part of ourselves. We’d like to pretend that those cringey moments weren’t a reflection of who we are.
To address this, we might start affirming to ourselves that we are loved. We might say “I love myself despite my flaws.”
But that means we are still denying love to that part of ourselves – the part which perhaps needs it the most. So we might say “I love myself including my flaws.”
Then that means that we’re still thinking of aspects of ourselves as flawed, rather than being steps in a process, or ‘happy accidents’ which form part of the complete picture. So perhaps we will say “I love myself, including those parts of myself I want to deny.”
Still, why are we affirming that there are parts of ourselves that we want to deny – establishing that we continue to deny those parts? We might simply say the words “I love myself,” with no conditions or caveats.
Finally, we no longer need to affirm, because what is known is not spoken.
Hosts & Guests
Kurt Robinson
Resources
Transcript
Let’s talk about loving yourself more every day.
It’s something that happens to me almost every single day without fail a thought pops into my mind and it’s something like a memory where I’ve done something awkward or imperfect.
Once upon a time in my life I would get caught up on those thoughts. Not very long ago by the way, but I would get caught up in those thoughts and keep thinking about them the entire day or the entire month. Or possibly for several years of my life to keep going through on a loop every day.
Now it tends to be different things come up every day. New memories or a different memory every day showing me some aspect of myself, some imperfection.
The other idea kind of related is about taking off the training wheels. Of course in that period of my life when I would recycle these thoughts through my head over and over again I didn’t have a good way to integrate them.
One aspect of that is there’s always a lesson. 99% of the time somethings going through your head, there’s a lesson to be extracted from that.
More recently we’re going through these things and I would think about them and say “I love myself despite my flaws”.
It’s a good way to re-frame that because I’m accepting what happened in the past is a part of me.
There’s a better way to say that. I love myself despite my flaws is like rejecting a part of myself.
I love myself including my flaws.
Are they really flaws though? Are they really imperfections or are they part of a greater picture?
Everybody remembers that meme or saying from Bob Ross where he says “we don’t make mistakes, we have happy accidents. If something happens without you intending it, actually it’s a beautiful thing.”
It’s a part of life and can be included into the artistry into the beautiful tapestry that you’re weaving.
I love myself including my the parts of me that I want to deny.
Why do I want to deny those parts? Why am I affirming I want to deny them because they are a part of me.
I love myself, I love myself and I don’t need to apply conditions or caveats.
I love myself.
Then at a point I can let go of this completely. Why do I need to affirm this, why do I even need to address it? Why do I say it?
All I really need to do is love myself.
It’s good to have training wheels, it’s good to have these extra techniques to get you to a certain stage.
At a certain point you don’t need them anymore. You don’t have to affirm certain things to yourself that you know deeply are true.
You don’t need to work on aspects of yourself that you’ve embraced.
When a memory like this pops up it is actually an opportunity to love yourself more, to embrace those parts which once you could not bring yourself to face.
Now and in the future your courage increases. Now you love yourself more than ever. Now your love yourself more every single day.
Thank you for listening, thank you for taking that step, that courageous leap into the unknown into accepting and loving those parts of ourselves.
The more we know ourselves, the more we know others. The more we love ourselves, the more we can love others and of course it doesn’t mean that we need to change.
Loving ourself has a a final component of change because if we really love ourselves we will do better to ourselves.
If we love ourselves more every single day we will treat ourselves better every single day.
Thank you so much for listening, have a great day and stay cool.
Talk to you next time.
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