Episode 235
Being Free of Desire
In many social situations, if we pause a moment to notice our thoughts, we might find that there are many impulses to change something. Perhaps we feel the need to impress the people around us, or please them, or even advance a romantic encounter in some way.
We might even feel these impulses when we’re alone, thinking about all the things we must do in order to be satisfied, in order to allow ourselves to be happy. Of course, that list will never be exhausted. We can always demand more.
When we become a little more conscious of this moment and of our thoughts, we have a bit more power over what we choose to notice. Watch those desires, and you might find that they slip away quickly, like water through our hands.
Now we are free, free of desire.
Hosts & Guests
Kurt Robinson
Resources
Transcript
I was just thinking about being free of desire.
I was thinking about this time when I walked into a room and I was in a new environment, a place I haven’t been before and I met three women at once.
I wondered “I wonder which of these three women I should attempt to seduce”. I might not have verbalized it like that but looking back a few months later I was like “what kind of thought pattern is that?”
Maybe it was selfish or I was a bit disgusted or ashamed with myself thinking about it. Im sure I’m not the only man who has these ideas.
Or even women being in a social environment trying to think or scheme or plan the next move to try to get closer to somebody, to have intimate relationships with them or something.
Of course looking back I see how much that was an impediment to my happiness trying to think of the best move instead of just enjoying what was going on in the moment.
I remember when I met my buddy Age and he said to me “when I was growing up I was so shy and insecure that I would keep thinking of things to do to please or impress people even among my closest friends.”
Like he was always on edge his friends were going to stop liking him. Imagine that, putting that kind of pressure on yourself. I guess these thought patterns are selfish in a way. He also had this element of it which is how can I make others happy?
Others will have that too, people pleasers. How can I make this person feel more comfortable in my home? Obsessively trying to get them to sit down or have some food. In a way this is really sweet that people would think that way of others and try to make them comfortable.
Of course in the extreme there’s the agony aunt when she can’t stop worrying about you and trying to make sure you’re ok.
What if, what if in a little fantasy world for a moment, what if we could just let go of those desires and worries? What if we were just free from the desire to scheme or to try to advance a sitaution or try to make people like us. What if we just chill, relax and enjoy people’s company and our own company and have a good time.
Let those desires go, the desires to change something about the situation because ultimately the situation is fine. Everything is ok. Everything is exactly as it is meant to be.
If you imagine the universe like one big jigsaw puzzle and there’s one piece one moment you must fit exactly there, smoothly, sliding in. No friction, no pressure. You can barely just drop it into place. That is this moment, just as it should be. You can let go of those intentions, desires to change something. Free, we are free.
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