Cycling Through Techniques

Transcript

I was thinking about cycling through techniques. So the other night something happened to me, something maybe disturbed me because some insecurity of mine had been revealed.

Someone had said something to me, I was thinking about it and maybe this is where I got myself into trouble but for awhile this irritation persisted in my mind and in my spirit. As I was going through different ways of thinking about it, I thought maybe I can reframe this, maybe in a sense its good my insecurity is being exposed because now I can learn more about it, understand it, address it and perhaps let it go.

Which is true.

But that didn’t help. It seemed this insecurity was still fixed in my mind like an obsession. I was still thinking about it, I tried to welcome it and make it feel at home and perhaps pushing a little too much towards this idea, trying to push it into acceptance. Again it doesn’t work.

So I try that technique which is from Victor Frankl called paradoxical intention and I try to lean into this insecurity, try to push towards it so I can let go of my resistance of it. Maybe that helps a little but its still there.

Eventually what I do is I think “Ok maybe the thinking is actually the problem. When I think I am still identifying with this state, idea, this irritation. Whatever it is. I decided I will let my mind become more blank, not always easy to do when we are irritated but as I found out its possible.

Just allow it to exist without identifying with it.

And thoughts would surge up and again these thoughts would have some implication of identification like I am trying to be something in relation to this irritation. Again I would turn my mind to allow it be without identification.

Just allow this space to exist and allow this concept and this feeling to exist as it was without having to relate in any particular way. I found quite quickly afterwards that it started to transmute and it seemed like a kind of excitement or delight, I was actually enjoying myself with this unusual emotional occurrence.

Part of the point is I cycle through these techniques. Part of the point is in the end I gave up techniques and a lot of the time when we learn a skill, people will tell you I will teach you the tricks of the trade.

When you really learn the trade, the fundamentals you don’t need the tricks. Those are just fun things you can do.

As we advance with our abilities in emotional intelligence and our understanding of different emotional states we can cycle through techniques and experiment and see which ones work. Eventually as we advance further we realize no techniques are necessary.

Just to be is sufficient.