Episode 434
Let Go Of Stories
It’s common for us to have expectations about what will happen in our lives, in our work, in our relationships. Our mind is busy trying to project what might happen, and then we have some emotional reaction to these stories about the future – perhaps feeling hope that they will happen, or despair that they won’t happen.
If these visions play out without us noticing them, they may well cause us suffering. Even if the actual events that pass are agreeable, we might not enjoy them, simply because we expected something different.
When we notice these stories fully, being present with them, allowing them to exist, we keep our minds from going off unrestrained. Our everyday life becomes a meditation – noticing the thoughts, and returning our focus to whatever task is at hand.
Hosts & Guests
Kurt Robinson
Transcript
Welcome beautiful thinkers! This is a beautiful thought. This is how your life is already wonderful.
Let’s talk about “letting go of your stories.”
And this is something that I need to work on this, why I’m mentioning it.
And I know a lot of people out there need some work on this as well or will benefit from this work.
And they will actually benefit from letting go of their expectations.
So a lot of the time, when we’re in a situation, a human situation, when there’s something going in our work, perhaps we expect to get a promotion, perhaps there’s something going on in our love lives, we expect or we desire that a certain person will fulfill a particular role in our lives.
And it’s not always going to be so when we start telling ourselves these stories about what it’s going to look like when these things go on.
And this is this isn’t the kind of active visualization. This isn’t like I’m putting a beautiful intention out to the universe, this is something a bit different, it’s something a bit more unconscious.
So you know, sometimes we say the word hope, hope, again, this promotion, you’re not hoping this person will be my lover. But we actually mean “well, there’s probably some hope in there.” But actually, there’s a bit more of despair.
When we do these things actively, when we imagine the situation to imagine our success- That can be beautiful, and we maintain a kind of distance. We’re not afraid that this won’t happen, or not, we’re actually genuinely hopeful.
But when we allow these stories to run in our heads, without watching them, without looking at them, just generating this meaning to our lives, which is you know, this is a beautiful gift that our brains have, that they can generate meaning, but if we allow them to just run away, just going away on their own, without any consciousness or control or presence with those thoughts.
What inevitably, almost inevitably happens is we find out that these stories do not turn out to be true.
And then we experience greater suffering as a result, people situations as we expect them to be.
Especially not when we’re telling the grandiose stories that then we imagine about things that that might happen.
So what do we do? It’s quite simple.
All we need to do. It’s quite simple. It’s not easy.
All we need to do is stay present.
When those stories emerge, when they come up, when we start thinking, imagining situations, visualizing possible situations, having feelings, then maybe more towards the desperation side.
We can notice them.
And as we noticed them quickly find that they might dissipate, and then they might reemerge.
That’s fine.
This is all part of the process.
Once again, the simple lesson of meditation, your mind wanders, return the mind.
Your mind wanders, then you return the mind.
It’s not difficult.
There’s no trick to this.
It’s just this simple fact.
It’s just the simple principle of the question.
Your mind wanders, and then you return your mind to that point of focus.
Your mind goes off creating stories, then you return your mind.
When you return your presence to these stories, you notice them, acknowledge them, and then continue with whatever task is at hand, giving it as much presence as you can muster.
I noticed this video on tick tok this morning, which is very interesting.
This fellow was talking about single pointed focus.
And he did these little exercises, so, for example, in your hands, try to flex your attention, something like is if it were a muscle, putting all of your presence in your hands, your mind is in your hands in a manner of speaking, you can exercise this presence.
So likewise, when these stories come up, we can acknowledge them fully.
With all of our being, we acknowledge perhaps we even say “thank you”, you know, “thank you for generating these stories.”
I know you want good things to happen to me dear mind.
So thank you for presenting that to me.
Now, let us continue with the task at hand.
And that is one way we can handle these mental stories that emerge.
I hope that works out for you.
Let me know.
I hope to see you on the telegram group.
And love to hear any feedback that you have.
Or if you’d like to tell me about different techniques, share them with the community there.
And have a wonderful day. I’ll talk to you soon.
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