Yesterday Came Suddenly

Transcript

Let me tell you one thing that’s really important that a lot of people can miss or let slip by the wayside which can be an impediment to happiness. Hydration.

I’m here in Asunción is the weather is likely to get to like 37 degrees or 99 degrees fahrenheit today. Sometimes I have to drink like four liters of water a day just to maintain myself and still feel a little dehydrated, have to take a little more.

If you’re out there saying “I don’t really drink water, I’m a Coca-cola man. I’m a Coca-cola woman.” You’re probably gonna have some problems there and end up dehydrated. With that sugar and that caffeine the water flows right through you.

Water is so important, the elixir of life. Ambrosia. Water of the Gods! Drink it!

Now I want to tell you about something, the other day I was sitting in meditation. I thought “I’m gonna sit and think about happiness”. And something came up which I didn’t expect was the lyrics to the Beatles song “Yesterday”.

And I started to realize why this was presenting itself. This song is kind of like a manual to unhappiness. Almost every line to this song points to a sort of unhealthy attitude or an attitude that will inhibit your happiness.

Let me go through this with you, yesterday, right in the beginning…..”Yesterday” we can tell this guy has a focus on the past. “All my troubles seem so far away.” Now I can tell this guy, in the context of the full song, his troubles weren’t all that far away through the past.

Yesterday, they weren’t that far away but he imagined they were far away. Really he just wasn’t paying attention or he was taking the people around him for granted, he wasn’t being appreciative.

“Now it looks as though they are here to stay”….Now this is a key mistake, a key error. It’s actually in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it’s listed as key beliefs that inhibit growth or inhibit happiness. Its assuming the future is going to be like the past.

So he feels sad today, just this morning and hes assuming that it’s gonna go on forever, that his troubles are here to stay.

“Oh, I believe in yesterday…” So he’s dwelling on the past and he believes in yesterday, which is something. Well what does it mean to believe in yesterday? It’s not something you can ever achieve. What good is it to believe in it?

“Suddenly..” These things happen suddenly? Actually they probably did happen suddenly. There was probably a lot of events leading up to the change that happened in his life he hadn’t noticed. So again he hadn’t been present.

“I’m not half the man I used to be” Well if he’s not half the man he used to be now, he probably actually wasn’t a man before. He wasn’t complete in himself. This is like a codependant relationship, he was using his relationship as a sort of crutch for his identity. His codependency that kept him thinking “everything is good, everything is wonderful. I have a girlfriend and I think I’m great.”

Actually he wasn’t, probably wasn’t focusing on his individual goals of being a man, going after what he really wanted in life or trying to improve himself. And that’s why he feels so incomplete when the relationship ends.

“There’s a shadow hanging over me…” There’s a shadow hanging over me. It’s really important to be mindful of the metaphors we use to describe our lives. Some people use these metaphors about depression like a black dog or a little black could following them.

And that can be kinda dangerous, because if you’re focusing on the emotions or the actual situation, what you’re feeling in the moment. What you’re experiencing. Those things generally are pretty easy to change.

But if you’re off in this abstract world and your imagining things as a shadow hanging over you it’s not so easy to change a shadow hanging over you. It’s actually only in your imagination. It is easy to change but it appears difficult to change.

So be mindful of the metaphors. Yesterday came suddenly that’s the next line.

“Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say…” I can almost guarantee that this guy was not listening to his girlfriend and that’s why it seemed like it came suddenly.

People don’t always communicate in the way that we expect and that’s why we have to listen and to exercise some empathy. Try to put ourselves inside their minds for a little bit to try and figure out what’s going on.

But if we don’t do that, it’s easy to ignore the signals that somebody is dissatisfied. That seems to be what happened here.

“I said something wrong, now long I long for yesterday.” I said something wrong, now this seems like a sort of false cause. Its a logical fallacy. He’s assuming that the last straw was the reason that his woman left.

And that’s pretty unlikely. It’s not like you’re in a long term relationship and you say one thing and somebody says “That’s it, that’s all it took for me to leave”. No that’s something that came with a foundation of many things and that was just the last thing.

Now I long for yesterday, so. Longing is an intense kind of desire. It’s not like excitement or anticipation. Longing is like a feeling of lack when you want something. Maybe that’s not the right kind of desire.

I’d also say that’s the wrong object because you can never attain yesterday. You can never reach that point again or its highly unlikely. So what good is it to long for yesterday? You’re actually setting yourself up for unhappiness.

“Yesterday love was such an easy game to play”…..which indicates he was never really taking the relationship seriously. He was treating it like a game and taking it for granted.

“Now I need a place to hide away”…. So that indicates he was not addressing his emotions, he was trying to run away from himself.

“Oh I believe in yesterday…” and now he’s focused not on a time where he can actually improve something because he has so many delusions about the past. Believing it was one thing that he said that ended the relationship. That otherwise it was a perfect relationship. That he believes in the time when he was deluded.

Let me see, to turn this around to try and give you some tips on how to be happy. It’s important to focus on the present. You can think about the past and the future but normally the present is the key to happiness.

Pay attention to those around you, listen to them, be appreciative of them, show them your appreciation.

Don’t assume the future will be like the past. The future and the past can be very different.

Be present. Such an important one it bears repeating.

Even when your in a relationship you can work on yourself as an individual even though you’re part of a team or partnership.

Be mindful of the metaphors and you can question the metaphors that you use.

Anticipate the way that people communicate with you. Try and put yourself in their shoes a little bit.

Be careful about the assumptions or conclusions you draw about the causes of things.

Be careful about the object of your desires. So if you’re going to desire something, it makes more sense to desire something you can attain and to do it in a way that feels good. Do it in a way that still is going to be positive even if you don’t get what you attain.

So there’s a whole bunch of wisdom hidden in that song it’s very interesting.

I hope you put a few of those things into practice or at least be conscious of those habits that you might have in your own life and be aware that maybe you can change them

So than you so much for listening. Than you for being a beautiful thinker and thank you for showing words of appreciation for those people around you. Thank you for being conscious. I’ll talk to you soon, have a wonderful day.