A Little More Polite

Transcript

Welcome to a beautiful thought, how your life is already wonderful.

Lets talk about being a little more polite.

You may know in Japanese culture there’s this idea called kaizen that not a lot of people know that actually originates from the United States in some form.

I think it was a military man, he was stationed in Japan and he looked at the quality of products and said there’s something not right here. We need to look at the process.

He said lets start with these principles. One of the principles was constant improvement.

So how can we be better?

I noticed like the other day I was standing in a bank waiting to deposit into this smart atm.

Some asked “well doesn’t this one do it?” No, that’s a mistake, there’s a mistake in the way this is written. If you look at it, it’s not a deposit available atm.

She asked “have you tried it?”

I said “No I haven’t” but I said in Spanish this lad tried it and gestured towards with an open palm.

All of my fingers towards him rather than pointing as goes the tradition in latin culture if you point with a finger that’s like pointing at an object, or animal. You gesture with 4 fingers and that’s indicating a person.

That’s something I picked up previously and integrated it into my behavior. After I said that I thought, that lad. Why did I say that lad?

Not that I need to break myself of this but I did notice I could have said that young man or that gentleman. It sounds so much nicer to say these things.

Or the other day we were in Zijuantanejo and I was wearing a collared shirt ready to go to this party. My friend Miriam came up to me and noticed my colored shirt and said “Oh, you look so handsome!” Like a sweet grandma, not that she is old.

I said “Thank you Miriam” but I didn’t think to return the compliment like “Thank you Miriam, you look lovely as always.” I could have said that.

These little changes help us to be a little more pleasant with the people around us. Of course in the long term we make these little changes and find ways to be more polite and pleasant with others, naturally they’re going to enjoy our presence that much more.

And naturally we’re going to inspire them to be a little bit better, a little more polite and a little more pleasant themselves.

Just like many years ago I was at a card table with my friend Robert and he was describing some hand that had happened 30 minutes before and he gestured to a seat and said the fellow who was sitting here, not this gentleman but a previous gentleman that had that seat.

I thought it was very interesting that he would just refer to someone as a gentleman because the common thing is to say “this guy, this man this dude” in Mexico we say wey.

But he made the effort to refer to the fellow as a gentleman. You’ve heard me say “hello” and instead of guy or man or some people say brother. We have these choices to use these words.

I say fellow because it does affirm the idea that there is some brotherhood, that we are joined in something. Fellow members of society and have shared values. If we’re not brothers we are at least potential friends.

I did notice when Robert exhibited that level of manners on some level of manners that is sometimes uncommon at a card table, he referred to the fellow as a gentleman and that gentleman had a smile on his face as a result.

I still remember that moment to this day, that simple act of kindness. That simple show of respect that still stays with me rippling across time.

Thank you for being aware of your own habits. Thank you for creating new habits and being aware how you can make people more comfortable in your presence because that is a wonderful gift.