Episode 10

Enjoy the Process

If you sit down to meditate thinking about why you can’t relax, you probably won’t relax. If you sit down with the intention to allow whatever happens, you might just find yourself relaxing.

Some people come to meditation as if it is a task to “do” or even to “complete”, perhaps a product of a competitive culture. Of course these people find meditation more difficult. Here, alone with your thoughts, there is nothing to do; here nothing will ever be complete.

Seated in meditation, you are free from any demand. You do not have to achieve anything, do anything, or be anything. You are free to enjoy the process.

Transcript

The other day I was sitting in a cafe with my friend Edith and we were talking about meditation.

She said “you know meditation never works for me” or in Spanish she said “no me sirve”.

Literally “It doesn’t serve me”.

And I was like, “What do you mean it doesn’t serve you? Meditation is your butler? Your maid? Like it’s going to give you something on a silver platter… what do you mean it doesn’t serve you?”

Now I’m attacking her words a little bit but sometimes people’s words portray their attitude towards something. So I was like, “what do you mean?”

And she was like “Well, it doesn’t work.” “No me funciona” It doesn’t function for me.

“What do you mean it doesn’t function? Like a microwave where you put something in, you press a button and it spins around and gives you what you want. Is that you mean it doesn’t function?”

She said “Well the idea is you sit for a few minutes and you feel relaxed.”

“Is that really? Is that the idea of meditation?”

She’s like “You’re testing me.”

I said “Yes kind of, but I’m trying to discover the underlying assumptions here. I’m trying to make them conscious, put them out in the open. So I’m teasing a little bit but this is the way we get to the truth.

The thing is when you sit down for meditation and you’re thinking about relaxing… it’s kind like in at episode of Rick and Morty where Mister Meeseeks says to Jerry Smith “Just try to relax Jerry”.

“Just try to relax? Try to relax? Have you ever tried to relax? Its a paradox. You can’t do that.” And he’s kinda right. If you sit down to meditation thinking about the results about the relaxation, you’ll be wondering why can’t I relax?

And that will stop you from being able to relax. So there are a lot of people out there, high achieving people, who are very focused on results. Perhaps choleric personality types or results driven people let’s say.

And in the world sometimes that attitude serves them but a lot of the time it doesn’t serve them in the personal relationships and it certainly does not serve them when it comes to meditation.

The point of meditation isn’t actually to relax. The point is actually something a bit different. So I said to Edith “Look at this bottle of water on the table in front of us. Now normally when we take a bottle of water our intention is to fill it or to pour it into a cup.”

I said “What if you just instead of pouring this into my cup to achieve some end you actually focus on the pouring as an end in itself. So pick up the bottle. Focus on the feeling of coolness of the glass against your hands. Feel the water shifting within the bottle. Feel when the glass probes against my cup. Or when you can feel another sensation through the bottle. Just feel it, just experience it.”

That’s the point. When you sit down to mediation likewise the focus isn’t what you’re going to gain from it because that is going to inhibit you from actually focusing on what is right in front of you.

The point of meditation is more to enjoy what is right in front of you.

If you’re very results driven, you’re focused on the future. But what if you could just let that go, at least for a little while? And just enjoy what’s in front of you.

As it turns out if you focus on the sensation maybe you have your eyes open right now and you can look around you and you notice the shapes around you. And you notice there’s actually no way to find one isolated shape in your environment. They all sort of blend in together. Look at the colors. Listen to the sounds and notice what is going on around you.

Meditation gives you this gateway into what is going on right now. Echart Tolle says “Nothing ever happens except in the present. W e can enjoy the present and every moment is a blessing.”

This is how we enjoy the process. In George Leonard’s Mastery he talks about this emphasis in our culture of looking at things. These peak moments like when the champion finally breaks that finish line or knocks down his opponent

Those are the things we notice, those are the things that make headlines and the pitches that accompany those headlines. George Leonard said “The face of a champion, the face of a master doesn’t really look like that.”

The face of a master is something else. It’s very patient look. Patient perhaps with a bit of struggling and also the enjoyment of the struggle. When it says the majority of mastery is on the plateau. And that’s how it is with our lives as well. We enjoy the process.

Take things as they come. Things are happening now. Every moment is a cause to notice the present. Every moment is a cause to notice the present. Every moment is a blessing. So please, please, enjoy the process.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for thinking beautifully.

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