Let Go of Grudges

Transcript

The other day my housemate got a new puppy and puppies are quite excitable, difficult to train and I noticed there was something black on the floor the other day and went to pick it up and it was the remote control of the television.

The dog had attempted to eat the remote control and chewed a little into the battery. Luckily she didn’t swallow it.

Then another morning came out and I saw something white on the floor and I saw it was my t shirt, my t shirt with a certain sentimental value from Paradise Paradox. Possibly the only one ever printed and it says real money and has pictures of Mexican silver coin that is a bitcoin and a gold coin and paradiseparadox.com written on the bottom in the banner.

That t shirt is no more of course it had some special value to me because it had a connection to that project I used to do. Now it no longer exists.

I mentioned it to my housemate, I said she ate my t shirt and he said “Yeah, we all have casualties” and I thought he won’t even apologize?

Yes you had casualties she ate the remote control but it’s your puppy, control it. Or do something. Then I thought about it a few minutes later and I was like “Ok, I have a choice. Its a conscious moment choose your own adventure story and I have a moment to choose.”

And the only error really is in not choosing. Of course if I do not choose I leave these thoughts in my brain thinking how unjust it is or how my housemate has wronged me or something, that’s one choice. That’s a lack of choice.

I can choose to talk to him about it or ask for an apology or compensation or even an acknowledgment or I can just let it go.

I thought the shirt had a stain on it anyway, I wasn’t wearing it very often so it’s not that big a deal.

I could talk to him about it but it’s not so important so I’ll let it go.

As it happened later that day he said “I’m sorry what she did to your shirt.”

And I just said “Thanks I appreciate that you acknowledge that happened.”

Many years ago in high school of course I think it happens to most people in primary school or high school someone will bully you unless you’re somehow at the very top of the Hierarchical structure.

Someone’s gonna bully you, maybe even if you’re at the top the teachers bully you and I had these friends who weren’t very nice to me. They’d pick on me and pick on each other and well that was kind of part of my life back then.

I didn’t know how to deal with it then or stand up for myself exactly and I was probably the reason they picked on me more, as an easy target.

I stayed friends with these guys more or less via high school and ended up choosing a different friends group.

Many years later I see one of these fellows in a club and they’re like “Hey, it’s you. It’s Kurt, let me buy you a beer.”

And it’s funny in that moment I could make a fuss and be like “why are you being so nice to me now?”

I remember these things that he did to me in high school that were not very nice and I probably did some things back that weren’t very nice.

But none of that mattered. All of that seemed to slip away. All he remembered were the good times and good vibes that we shared even though it was a difficult friendship. Neither of us knew how to communicate properly being just children and what do I do?

I could stand up to him and say I don’t want a beer from you. Or I could forget the whole thing and let it go and enjoy the opportunity for a new friendship or connection.

That’s exactly what I did because like I said before making happiness a priority is much more important than trying to remember a grudge.

Of course people know that expression, there’s a few of them, never hold a grudge.

I think this comes from Buddy Hackett in the 20s, never hold a grudge. When you hold a grudge they’re out dancing.

Or the other version is a grudge is like a poison but it doesn’t get the object of the grudge, it gets you. You poison yourself. You get that acid and it burns the lip of the jug, we’re just trying to pour it. That’s what happens, it attacks you. So why do we do these things?

Something about ego, we wanna hold onto these way that people have wronged us and they give us identity in some ways. It’s a kind of payoff.

I’m a victim and I can maintain that. The world has wronged me. We can keep that up. We can have that payoff and feel helpless or we can do something else and get that moment of choice, that choose your own consciousness to our grudges and old feeling that no longer serve us and say “What do I want to do?”

I know what I want to do, let go.

Thank you for listening, thank you for bringing awareness to those feelings that maybe have sat dormant or occasionally active in your stomach for so long.

When they arise in your thoughts thank you for saying that is valid but it is no longer worthy of my attention. Have a wonderful day.