Love is More Powerful than Hate

Transcript

I’d like to tell you a story and this story, I’m trying to give a bit of a disclaimer here. It does involve substances, as some people would call them drugs. I’m talking about sacred medicine specifically ayahuasca.

A lot of the time I avoid talking about it on this podcast or I have up to this point because I don’t want people to think that you need these substances to get into contact with the type of states of mine and state of being that I’m talking about.

If it’s a part of your path, that’s great. If not, that’s fine too. You don’t need to think that there’s some kind of pressure to do these things. Or you can only be at a certain level of happiness if you take them or something like that. It’s not true.

Everything is for you, happiness and joy and everything it’s all for you, so you don’t need to necessarily need to take any substances to be a part of that.

So this story, I guess it begins when I moved to Mexico in 2014. I started having these strange experiences with ghosts. There were a lot of strange dreams. I remember I had this dream soon after I moved to this house in Guadalajara.

We called it Casa Jesús because it was on Jesus street. And I had this dream I was in my parents house in my old bedroom. I was with my lover and she said “Is somebody watching us from the hallway?”

“I don’t think so.” I look over the door is open. We walk out into the hallway and in the hallway on the wall there was a whole bunch of photos of my family. My lover points to one of those photos and says “Oh how handsome you look in that photo.”

I look and I realize the photo is not of me, it’s of a doll being treated as if it’s a member of the family. When I look at the face of the doll it starts melting and making these deformed facial expressions.

In that moment I wake up and my body is completely covered in goosebumps. Never been so completely covered in goosebumps like that.

I walked around the room, it was very strange because standing at some points in the room I would be covered in goosebumps and other points I would not to the point where my entire left side would be covered in goosebumps and my right side would be free of goosebumps.

I thought “Alright, this is really weird.” I had ended up buying some sage to burn and incense and those sort of things to try and protect myself.

A lot of things happened I remember there was one night where there was a young Brazilian lady staying upstairs.

This night I had one of these dreams it was like I was in Mexico City and walking to my house. This guy in this big black wide brimmed hat started trying to stalk me but I couldn’t really see his face.

And I just walked away as quickly as I could, got to my house, closed the door, went up the stairs. I heard him banging on the door saying “Hey, I know what you did! I know what you did!”

And I was like “What’s this, what’s going on?”

He started threatening me and members of my family. It was quite disturbing.

I woke up again with goosebumps on my body. Burned some sage, it was around 3am. In the morning I learned this young Brazilian lady upstairs had also had an experience that night. This kind of night terror.

She woke up in sleep paralysis and couldn’t move. Noticed this sort of shadow in the corner of the room. Every time she looked it was closer and closer to her until it was right next to her in the bed.

At first she thought it was our housemate but then she realized it wasn’t. This thing was saying to her “How nice your in this state so I can talk to you.”

And she was like “Nope, nope nope nope nope.” In that moment she got the strength to jump out of sleep paralysis and run down and slept in my housemates room on the couch or whatever.

Wild, weird stuff goes down. This is part of the reason framed in a different way, I kind of like that this stuff can happen. Especially because it happened for me in Mexico cause it highlights to me that “Hey, there’s something going on here outside the bounds of ordinary human experience.”

This is part of the reason I say Mexico is a portal to another world. Even though I can say my experiences were uncomfortable I thought “There’s potential for some wonderful experiences there.”
And I later did experience those.

Then months later I was in an apartment in Santa Tere living there on my own for the most part. The experiences got way too intense and I started asking for recommendations for someone that could help me with my ghost problem.

So I got to the point where I remember I was seeing or feeling things even before the sun had gone down. One day it was 5:30 or 6pm, the sun is still very much in the sky and shining through my window. I had the experience of this big thing, like a 7 or 8 foot monster, I could feel its presence standing in my doorway just kind of watching me.

There was also this kind of 2-3 foot little thing by my bed staring at me intently, expectantly. Another night I remember I noticed there was something sitting in the chair at my desk, trying to do something to me like manipulate my energy. I don’t know what.

And I was trying to scare it off by being cocky and egotistical. Or I’d put on this facade of cockiness to try and deal with this stuff.

I said “Hey, do you know what I am?” To be honest I didn’t even know what I meant by that, I was trying to portray myself as something powerful.

And this thing says to me “I know what you are, and I like it.”

I was just like “That’s creepy man”. So I managed to find through the recommendation of a friend this woman who called herself a spiritual psychologist which is interesting because she studied psychology and she determined there’s a lot of key things in Modern Psychology that are missing.

So she went on to pursue a spiritual path, partially involving catholocism and other things. And she came to my house and she blessed my house via a catholic blessing. She used salt and holy water and she also did some energy work with me. Reiki or something similar.

I could tell this woman knew what she was doing. I could feel the energy, it was that strong. She also did hypnosis, put me in a trance deeper than I’ve ever gone in hypnosis.

It was very unusual I remember at some point I opened my eyes, somehow I got distracted or something and misinterpreted what she said. And I noticed wow the room looks really weird cause I’m still in this trance state.

She was like “Close your eyes, close your eyes. Go back to the place.”

She also recommended that I write out some letter. I had a friend who recently committed suicide and that probably influenced my psyche.

Something was going on inside me. This friend had already committed suicide, we hadn’t spoken in years. We kind of ended on not the best of terms. So there was something, some inquietude in my heart and Liliana recommended I write a letter to my friend and burn it.

This is interesting too because this make sense from a spiritual perspective. Because it’s like, just like the Chinese do. They burn money to send to the underworld. It’s like you’re converting earth into air by using fire or something like that.

It also makes sense from a psychological, psychomagic perspective because seeing your letter being burned before your eyes has a significance that’s like “I know that part of my life is over now and I can gain some closure.”

So that helped. My problems persisted a bit though and soon afterwards I met this fellow at a party, Dave. Dave told us something about the glory of the universe and I was like “Ok this dude is onto something, what is going on here?”

He started telling us about his experiences with ayahuasca and how he contacted his divine part of himself or the universe. I thought “This is very interesting.”

Previously I had been looking for an experience like this. I had been looking specifically for an ayahuasca shaman in Guadalajara but for various reasons things didn’t coincide and I wasn’t able to. That was about a year before.

People say these things appear when you’re ready for them. Well the tradition is when the student is ready, the master will appear. And it’s really quite unusual if you ask people about this, sometimes the stories they tell these things just kind of pop up. Quite interesting.

So Dave said he would accompany us, he was ready to go for another journey. And he invited me to the ceremony and so, he also was willing to help me a little bit. To guide me, to translate somethings that I missed some of the things the shaman was saying in Spanish. That was very kind of him.

This is sort of tradition I suppose because when you have such a beautiful experience you want to share it with somebody and you want to take the hand to try to tell them the right way to do it if you can. Make it easy as possible.

I remember at one point in the night Dave handed me a pack of tissues and said “Hey, you might need these.” or maybe he said you will need these. He was right, I cried my little heart out that night and I saw a lot of things. I had to ask myself a lot of questions, or I was presented with a lot of questions I thought were valuable questions.

And I asked them and they say ayahuasca gives you homework. You have these experience and then afterwards you know that for your own good there are certain things that you can do to improve.

The combination of the journey, after asking myself so many questions about the nature of love…about romantic love, familiar love, love between friends, love for oneself….The start of the journey I set my intention, it’s part of the tradition.

You think deeply about your own purpose and you ask a question. My question was….so many people when they talk about ghosts and things. They say “you have this don” “tienes este don” or a gift. And I say, “What gift? Is this a gift? Seeing strange things in the night that touch me and things like that, doesn’t seem like much of a gift.”

So my question was “How can I make this a gift, for real?” How can I convert this, transmute it. Turn it around, look at it from a different perspective and see that yes, this thing is a blessing.

The answer I got was quite simple. After laying all the groundwork, grandmother ayahuasca said to me “If your heart is complete, these things cannot hurt you.”

Later I learned when your heart is complete these won’t want to even hurt you. Who would want to hurt someone showing love to the world? Not even the foulest most corrupt darkest demon could stand in the face of love and show it hate.

That’s a difficult thing to do. Love is more powerful than hatred. I’ve seen it.

That’s what I wanted to share to you. If you’re going through a difficult time, maybe your gifts are there and they don’t look like gifts. Maybe they’re something really different and you’re like “Why has life or fate given me this rotten hand?”

One of the most important phases of the hero is the refusal of the journey. That every hero eventually ends up accepting the call to adventure.

Thank you for listening, thank you for thinking beautifully. Thank you for opening your hear and healing yourself so you can show others more kindness than what has been showed to you.

Have a great day I’ll talk to you soon.