Put Love In It’s Correct Place

Transcript

Welcome to you.

I’d like to talk to you about something… it’s a bit difficult to talk about but let’s say, let’s call this one “Put Love in It’s Correct Place”.

So the other day I had this conversation with somebody online to give a bit of context. This is a person that I was discussing things online for about 6 months, had this online friendship with this person. But then one day last week I was having a conversation with her and she starts asking about something that I’m doing.

And I asked “Well are you really interested because I know you’re not normally interested in that kind of stuff”

And she goes “Fine, I don’t want to talk about it anyway.” Or something like this.

I started to get a bit frustrated and I said “Can you please acknowledge what I’m saying here? This is a thing you told me previously you weren’t interested in that sort of stuff. Now you’re getting frustrated when I point it out, can you just acknowledge that?”

And I went on trying to stay calm even though I was a bit frustrated and I kept leading back to that point, please just acknowledge that what I’m saying has some validity to it.

And she would say “Well fine, I don’t want to talk to you anyway.”

By the end of this conversation she was like “Well I never want to talk to you again” or something like that.

And I went “Okay, that’s interesting. I didn’t expect to have this conversation today.”

I thought about it later, analyzed the conversation in my head and went through it and looked through the chat log and tried to think “I’d like to apologize but is there actually anything for me to apologize for?”

And after some consideration I got a little frustrated but I didn’t do it in a way that was disrespectful. As far as I can tell, there’s no way for me to make a genuine apology here.

So I’m not going to do that. And it was funny because after that I felt happy, I felt liberated which is really weird like maybe in the past I’d be heartbroken or hurt. Trying to analyze my behavior to think about the things I did wrong.

Which I did but dispassionately and I was like “This is very interesting, why would I be so happy?”

And the conclusion that I arrived at was I don’t need to worry about people who aren’t worried about me. If people don’t take the time to understand me, then I don’t need to worry about pleasing them.

There’s no way to please someone who won’t take the time to understand you providing that you’re expressing yourself in a clear way, if you’re not putting up barriers to communication yourself.

If they’re not going to put up any effort to understand you, you cannot make that person happy. You can’t even help that person be happy because their mindset is outside your influence.

Nothing you say is going to please them, ever. So you don’t need to worry about them.

Let go of that energy, let go of that expectation and be happy.

If you spend your time worrying about people who won’t go out of their way for you, then it is going to be a cause of misery.

You don’t have to put your love, affection and worry in that spot you can always put it within yourself.

If other people aren’t going to show you that compassion and understanding you can always give it to yourself. That’s within your power!

It’s probably one of the most powerful things that a human being can do. Enjoy your own company.

That’s not a euphemism for masturbation, enjoy your own company.

It’s good to be with yourself. Its good not to worry about others if they are not worried about you.

You can be whole on your own and you can spend your time and effort on the people who really matter, the people who really value your time and energy. I feel like I’m repeating myself a bit so I’ll finish this one up.

Thank you so much for listening, thank you for enjoying your own company. Spending your time energy and love on the people who matter! The people who’s friendships are mutual. Mutually beneficial, mutually valuable and mutually valued.

Have a great day, I’ll talk to you soon.