Surrender to Faith

Transcript

Let’s talk about surrendering to faith.

Many of you may have heard that episode, that interview with Monty Jones. At the end of the interview I ask Monty what it was like to put so much faith in the hands and minds of the skipper and asked him if there was some kind of relationship with the divine, what is it like to put your life in the hands of the divine?

In our greatest captain of every day life? And Monty was a bit astounded and said maybe that’s been something that’s been missing in my life that I haven’t put my faith in that quantum field or greater force.

Here I am in Santiago de Queretaro. I came for a certain mission. I came here to get my Mexican residency to live here for awhile and get my status updated to be a Mexican resident. Before I left for the journey I prayed that not only my mission would be successful but that it would be powerful, spiritual and that I would learn some deep lesson.
Many interesting things happened along the way.

When I first got here to this house the first night I was here, the first morning I woke up here this very strange feeling I saw in my dream this Mexican man about 5’4, old man with dark gray hair in a ponytail standing in the doorway with a guitar.

I thought “Ok” and I woke up and had to look around to see what was really going on. Am I alone? And while there was no one physically in the room I did conclude that I’m not entirely alone.

Of course I said to myself to prayer for that perhaps lost soul that needed some guidance that he would find his way in some form perhaps in the next life. Perhaps moving towards the light and moving through purgatory to those fine bright cities that shine above as mentioned in the words of Chico Xavier.

When that happened I thought I guess there’s some kind of struggle or challenge here.

Because of course when we learn a spiritual lesson, not all the time. I don’t wanna bind myself to this but a lot of the time first there must be some kind of challenge. That was a stamp on the path.

Now there were some pitfalls. I thought getting my residency would be easy and in some sense perhaps it was easy.

But there were many points where I thought “maybe this isn’t going to happen.” Even though other people told me this would be easy, maybe they won’t give this to me.

Maybe for some reason my situation many people might know I was once deported, maybe they wouldn’t be willing to overlook that even though in some sense that’s the purpose of this residency program.

And I was worried, I was even a little depressed I might say. Concerned or bummed about it thinking about the possibility that my goal would go unfulfilled which is unusual because days or weeks before I had prayed.

I felt that feeling, that special calm feeling when you know that your prayers have been heard. That what you desire will come to fruition.

In those moments there is no doubt. Oh yes, you know.

You know. And you know.

But after that I doubt it so much that I doubted that I felt that feeling and that feeling meant what I knew it had meant.

Then yesterday I went to followup in the Immigration office. I was nervous thinking about what might happen, trying to transmute these nerves in some form thinking I am excited.

Tried to calm myself down so these nerves can relax. Some deep breathing, counting out my breaths in these 40 second cycles or so. Retaining the breath and managed to calm myself down. I feel the emotion of getting the residency card, imagining kissing it just to feel the relief, joy and satisfaction of knowing that in some form I am home. What I imagine in my heart is real and respected.

And it was interesting because they could call my name and the woman said “sign this, this is your cup” which is an official number in Mexico used to open bank accounts and other official things. I was like “this is a good sign, I guess this is it.”

20 or so minutes later she gave me the residency card and I thanked profusely not wanting to take too much of her time but I thanked her dearly. It was funny because I started to walk to the Fonda, the family restaurant nearby and on the way I am tearing up thinking how grateful I am to be in Mexico.

On some other level Im thinking, hang on when I got the card nothing changed. I thought a little more, hang on no something did change. It wasn’t in the moment I got the card, it was before, the half hour before when I was sitting and waiting when I relaxed and allowed myself to receive and believe.

That was when things changed for me.

That was the real moment, when I surrendered to faith.