Talking to Strangers

Transcript

Welcome to you.

I wanted to talk about talking to strangers.

I was listening to a podcast the other day it was on Sam Harris’ Waking Up app and it’s this conversation with this world class expert in happiness. Lori Santos, she’s an expert in the science of happiness and she teaches happiness in a free course on Coursera that people can enjoy.

At one point in the conversation Professor Santos is saying how important it is to ones well being to have little interactions with other people.

I thought about that. I’m a pretty friendly guy, normally pretty receptive when people start to talk to me or something like that.

But what if I set the intention to be even more like that?

It was quite remarkable setting the intention even lightly I started to notice how much I could have conversation with people around me.

Like say what if somebody in the Starbucks like the barista says to me, Oh can I have your name please?

And I say “Well, my name’s Kurt, what’s your name?”

There was a predetermined procedure for that interaction and I just broke it. No one knows what will happen next. We’ve entered into a new area, an exciting area of mystery.

Because every moment that you share with a stranger you never really know what’s going to happen.

Just a few hours ago in a juice bar and the fellow asked for my name and I asked for his name and he said its Cuauhtemoc the name of an Aztec emperor. Pretty interesting.

I started to have a conversation with him and it’s kind of amazing. It’s the mystery.

Everywhere you go you can have an opportunity to make a new connection with someone, to enjoy moments with somebody.

I remember I probably told this story before…many years ago like probably 17 years ago I went into the library to check out a book.

I checked it out and said thank you to the librarian and she said “That’s alright.”

I had said thank you out of procedure but when she said “That’s alright” like “It’s a pleasure to do this.”

I thought “Wow, she really meant that. It was more than alright, it was a delight to help me out.”

I was in a good mood for the rest of the day because someone broke that protocol and was genuine to me.

How nice it is that every day we might come cross so many people and we can enter into that space.

Now some people, if you do this, if you start saying hello or asking their name or how they are. They might think you’re a network marketer trying to sell them Amway.

Alright but a lot of people will be like “I’m good, thanks for asking.”

I used to work in a call center and I would hear my work make George, his boisterous voice, quite excited to just work there and just be.

And I would hear him say something like Im great, thank you for asking.

Just because one of the customers took the time to ask how he was. Breaking the protocol just a tiny bit, just acknowledging a certain affirming of humanity of the person you are with.

But of course when you affirm the identity of others you must, must affirm your humanity.

That is why I like talking to strangers.

Thank you for listening, have a wonderful day and I hope somebody asks you how you are.