Episode 405
Treat Yourself
There is this cliché in western culture of “treating yourself”. The idea is, if you feel down or uncertain of yourself, the best thing to do is buy a material object for yourself.
Generally, this is not the best way to feel better. For one thing, experiences tend to be a far better use of money than objects, at least when it comes to happiness. Objects wear out and fade, but our memories might stay with us for a lifetime.
Then we also have the option of treating ourselves without spending money, and they are numerous. We can find someone in need and help them, spend some time with a loved one and tell them how important they are to us, go for a walk in the park, or sit for five minutes in silence.
Hosts & Guests
Kurt Robinson
Transcript
I’d like to talk to you about treating yourself.
The other day I was walking in the park, just walking aimlessly as I have talked about in an early episode it reminds me of that song by Chuck Berry. Just wandering around no particular place to go.
And this is a sweet experience that many of us have the privilege or right to enjoy to simply walk around a garden or park to observe what is going on around us.
In our culture there is this stererotype, cliche or trope of treating ourselves.
The way it normally expresses itself is if you want a manicure, an ice cream or if you want to buy a new car or new dress, whatever it is. These things are supposedly treating yourself.
And these things are nice and its good to have nice things and that’s not all there is to it.
When we listen to Professor Laurie Santos who has that course at Yale, the science of wellbeing. We can hear what she says. Normally she says treating yourself, if you are feeling down, people have this idea or cultural chip that if I buy myself something nice I will feel better.
Santos says normally that is not as accurate as we are led to believe. We have this false impression about what will really boost our wellbeing.
Normally the better thing to do is to help other people when we can do that. Or well, getting back to my point. We can do that, to treat ourselves to the gift of kindness we give another. Because of course we can think hey, life is meaningful. I can ease the suffering of another person.
Suddenly life is more meaningful than my own problems. I do have a purpose and I do have power, deep deep power. If you can help someone, there’s not much better than that.
I do think as well we can do these things that don’t require money.
That are simple and sweet like taking a walk in a park, sitting for 5 minutes or an hour in silence. WE can do these things and share time with a loved ones, call someone who is special with us and tell them something nice about themselves.
We can do this.
We can do these things, treating ourselves to the gift that we give to others. Its a very inclusive gift when we really treat ourselves and really reveal our true nature. When we really give what we are to the world.
That’s nice.
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