Walk Out

Transcript

I’ve been thinking about something, sometimes people tell me these stories about romantic occurrences they’ve had.

When you’ve had a relationship with someone and maybe the relationship doesn’t even go that long, maybe just 6 months but still thinking about it years later and still it hurts, years later.

And of course various stages, I’ve talked about this before about dealing with emotions.

There;s a video I did on Cryptonomics talking about dealing with loss.

There’s a certain process we all go through, maybe we ruminate on what happened, we ruminate on the emotion trying to feel it. We start to analyze and figure out what went wrong.

Of course we ask the question what if I had handled that differently? That happens to a lot of us.

I saw this quote from R.D. Laing the other day and it said “A lot of the time the one that got away, got away for a reason.”

It wasn’t like had you done something differently things would have turned out differently because if we’re talking about 2 people with very different natures, in the end we’re probably not compatible but we like to engage in the fantasy or engage in the situation to be better next time.

A lot of the time we don’t need to worry about that because it’s the way things play out.

When I interviewed my friend Anam Paiseanta he said he comes into a romantic relationship with this attitude, not with an attitude but a mentality thinking about whatever is meant to be in this partnership, between these two people will become obvious.

That’s his mentality coming in and it takes off a lot of stress. You don’t have to worry if you make a misstep or things aren’t gonna turn out right. Probably just what was meant to happen, just play along and enjoy the ride and be confident about what’s happening.

It’s an experience playing out two people getting to know each other and finding their compatibility or something like that and that’s pretty much it.

The other day I said to my friend a related story. The story is this, 2 zen monks are traveling wandering in Japan performing a pilgrimage. They arrive at a river and they see this woman struggling to get over the river.

One of the monks says don’t worry man, I will carry you across the river.

She gets on his back and he lifts his robes and crosses the creek to the other side. The monk releases her to the ground.

She says thank you and he says your welcome and the two monks go on their merry way.

About 3 hours later the second monk says to the first monk “you know very well the rules Buddha laid down for monks and one very important rule is that we must never touch a woman.”

And the monk said “brother, are you still carrying that woman because I set her down on the side of the river.’’

The point is we don’t have to carry these things, when they’re gone and passed…that’s it. They’re gone and passed.

Another story I tell about this is a story from RD Lane the psychologist from Scotland.

He tells a story about a prisoner. He’s been imprisoned for many years and eventually they open the door to the cage and say its your time, you can go free.

The prisoner sits in his cell and says hes not going until he figures out the circumstances that got him in a cell in the first place.

That would be an unusual course of action but that’s what many do if we’re feeling depressed or heartbroken or similar.

We begin to analyze, analyze and analyze and we refuse to let go until we understand exactly the situation.

Of course we give the story a happy ending, the prisoner simply walks out of his cell. That’s all it takes.

Thank you for listening and have a wonderful day.

Oh and thank you for releasing things from your past, opening up possibilities for a bright new future with new emotions, new experiences and new endeavors.