Episode 190
Love Actualizes
In Abraham Maslow’s Toward a Psychology of Being, he writes:
“The lover perceives in his beloved what no one else can, and again, there is no question about the intrinsic value of his inner experience, and of the many good consequences for him, for his beloved, and for the world. If we take as an example the mother loving her baby, the case is even more obvious – not only does love perceive potentialities, but it also actualizes them.”
Our belief in others, our support and encouragement, the space we allow them so that they can explore the world and themselves… All of these things give a person a chance to grow healthfully, just as fertile soil, sun and water give a plant a chance to blossom.
Hosts & Guests
Kurt Robinson
Transcript
Welcome beautiful thinkers.
Let’s talk about how love actualizes.
I was reading once again Abraham Maslow Toward a Psychology of Being and I find these words: the lover sees in the beloved what no one else can.
And again there is no question about the intrinsic value of the inner experiences and the many good consequences for him and his lover and the world.
If we take as an example the mother loving her baby the case is even more obvious. Not only does love perceive potentialities but it also actualizes them.
Now this is something I’ve thought about a lot. I remember one cook Tyler Durden I think in the Blueprint he talked about looking out at the audience or when he’s doing a workshop trying to improve the confidence of young men.
He thinks about that line where Mike’s wingman tries to trump him up and he says: You’re so money and you don’t even know it.
Emphasizing to him he doesn’t realize how fantastic or awesome he is. Owen Cook would have the same belief about his students or about the people he was coaching and of course when we have these expectations about people and we believe in people that much inevitably it’s going to rub off on them and they will have the same expectations.
As Maslow talks about in the same chapter a lover, a woman, who believes her lover is courageous he is more likely to be courageous and live up to her highest hopes and present a brave face to the world if that’s necessary or find that deeper quiet confidence within himself to stand up to the world when necessary.
How much can we expect in a good way? We might even say hope instead of expectations. Hope not in the way some people use it which is the opposite. Sometimes when we say hope we mean despair, we don’t know if something will happen.
Hope is this wonderful bursting feeling in our chest. Hope that somebody will be better. Believe in their potential actualized. And Russ in his book It’s All In Your Head talks so much about how he believed in himself when no one else did.
Isn’t it nice to have someone to believe in you? If you have to be that person for yourself, go ahead.
Love actualizes. Love reveals what was previously only imagined. Self belief, belief in our friends and family allows us to rise as he was saying “Love lifts us up where we belong.”
Its interesting to listen to the lyrics of that song because it’s sung as a duet and I’ve heard it many times and I never realized it was anything but a love song, a song about romantic love.
Listen more closely and you realize it’s a song about spiritual love.
Love lifts us up to where we belong. Not romantic love because romantic love lifts us up where we belong means we always deserve love because we must receive it to be where we belong.
We deserve, we can receive that kind of love. That actualizes us and brings us to a higher potential.
Love actualizes. Is there a way you can offer that kind of love or hope to someone else today?
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