Say the Things You Truly Feel

Transcript

I don’t know if you can hear the rain pitter-pattering in the background, this nice relaxing sound. When the rain comes its nice to go to sleep to, a nice natural white noise generator.

I’d like to talk to you about saying the things you truly feel.

I was thinking about that song My Way by Frank Sinatra.

Well popularly interpreted by Frank Sinatra, the most well known version. I sang it a few weeks ago at karaoke. Especially these two lines I think I have mentioned them before, they really bring the song home.

In the final verse when he says “to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels”

I think about that a lot because I think for a lot of my life I didn’t have the courage to tell the truth about myself, to really express what was within me.

And the more courage I gained in telling the truth, the more I can be honest with myself.

Truth is a practice. The more truth we are willing to face, the more truth we are willing to give, the more truth will be revealed to us.

Like peeling back the layers of old paint to find what is on the surface, what that wall is actually made of.

I was thinking back to about a month or two back I sent a message to my friend Chris. I was procrastinating for awhile, I wanted to thank him, a beautiful truth. The truth of my gratitude for the ways he had helped me in the gym, getting me motivated, encouraging me and showing me different exercises like yoga really changing the way I understand and use my body.

Even though it was a really nice thing to say to Chris it was still difficult because I am showing that level of truth, some kind of vulnerability. I knew it would be well received, I knew he would appreciate it but it’s still difficult to say.

On a similar level we have things that are difficult to say because we don’t want to hurt someones feelings, we don’t want to criticize someone.

But if we do criticize someone and we do tell them the truth about their habits, their actions or the way they think and the consequences of that. That can be some of the most valuable feedback a person recieves. Like with my buddy Luis Fernando Mises many times we will discuss different things, different concepts about coaching, business, spiritual concepts and the part of the conversation is most valuable to both of us is when one of us says “Let me challenge you a bit on that, is that really how it is?”

When we have some doubt about the reality of the situation and we are honest about the doubt that is the value of having a true friend, a critical friend who will show you something who is not willing to put up with your bs. It might not be bs but we have a tendancy to poeticize things or take things in a direction, interpret things in a way that isn’t accurate.

Is there something within yourself that you really want to say? That thing you truly feel about yourself which you haven’t had the courage to express, to say outloud. To record in a voice message or write in a journal. Is that someone thing that you need to hear from yourself. Something perhaps that you tremble to say aloud?

Can you say it to yourself?

Is there something a friend could really benefit from hearing? Perhaps something beautiful, perhaps something challenging that you can with your creativity say in a way that does get through and doesn’t inspire defensiveness.

Not an easy thing to do. Sometimes when I have told the truth to people it doesn’t always come out lightly and politely.

But many of the times, not all of the times many times people later say “thank you for telling me the truth, thank you for saying those things others didn’t dare to say.”

Thank you for saying the words you truly feel not the words of one who kneel.

Those things that are within you. What a wonderful opportunity when the truth is absent, what a wonderful gift when truth is given.